Where is the context?

To all that’s meant me to be. I’ve made it through another portal, another passageway in the underworld of this soul of mine. I explore with a torch and my inner self as my compass. I don’t really know where it is that I am going, but I am staying deep, working my way down and down and around through the labyrinth mazes built by the ants of times past. Sometimes the walls glow with sacred symbols and a language long forgotten, other times there are bones and skulls and other artifacts of the dead. I pass them a blessing as I venture by. I seem to have forgotten why I am down here, though I remind myself time and time again. It’s to reveal the truth. Always the truth, the rooted, whole, grounded, and undeniable truth. I haven’t seen the sun in months, and still I keep excavating on this sacred mission. Everything can be turned sacred depending on whatever energy we bring to it. Construction to cooking to tending to a baby, to paperwork and gardening. All of it if we simply bring our focus and our presence. All of it holds the codes we seek.

I am reminded of the torre, a tall tower built long ago in some far-off distant land full of magic and sword fighting. The torre is a place for healers to gather and learn and share the history and true magic of healing and what has come before, and been in our world long forgotten. It feels as if I am burrowing deep, deep, deep down, to the core of these truths and creating passageways to these currents. Where magic resides, where spontaneous healing occurs, where life and death are rejoiced within. These soul-deep memories that we all have, as we burrow down, they come back up to the surface and can be lived once again in this world of cement and tall buildings.

It has been lonely at times down here, but I give thanks to the food I seem to always have and the deep sleep I rest within. It feels as though there is something just around the bend, an energy growing stronger, a love that is coming back to me, pulling me deeper and deeper into the chasms of self and other and this whole entire existence. It pulls me forward and downward in a deeply rooted and direct spear’s throw, deep to the core truth of all that is.

This love that I feel returning, after months of not, after seemingly endless days of enduring and continuing onward, is coming back to me. It makes the food that I eat taste better and it makes the rainy days feel more comforting. It makes me want to rest in a new way, to slow down enough to see the small mouse that crawls out from under the house or to relish in the cat that purrs upon my lap. It brings back a full sense of love, it feels whole, complete, like parts of me that were lost are coming back to me. It all is through the work that I have been doing, this grounded focus, this relentless push to keep going deeper and finding more truth that’s been buried under thousands of years of lies. It feels like a full completion of my soul. Finding that other part of me that reminds me that I have always been whole, even when I felt the most shattered. I hear it call to me like a breeze full of warmth and care, in the desolate passageways of despair.

I know that I have fallen for the tricks of the sirens and the ghouls before, the sweet call that never quite reached all the facets of me but promised something grandiose and rich. That pull outward into the hollow confines of someone else’s ribcage. Someone else’s story or dream, someone else’s success and recognition, it pulled me down and farther from myself.

This feeling that now pulls me feels entirely different. It is rich in its own ways for its all-encompassing golden light. The warmth of true comfort. Of deep care.

I dreamt of it recently, and I asked the one that helped me to face my fears with a tender strength, “how will I know that it’s you? Even if I don’t recognize your face?” The being told me to feel him, and so I did. I opened up, and all of a sudden he was there. A steady hand at my back in the dark chasms of pain and fear. I know it then, without a doubt, that this is real. Even when his face started to morph and change into someone unrecognizable, he was still there. Entirely him when I allowed myself to feel.

I know that even though this is on the horizon, a reunion of two souls, finally making the passageway back into each other’s arms, I cannot rush. I cannot burn myself out or run through these doors and halls until I find him again. I will once I get there, but I still must eat and sleep and keep on with the work that I am doing. The uncovering, the unveiling, the returning of what was lost. This quiet and slow kind of justice that prevails even under the pressures of immense darkness and evil. I must keep taking one present step at a time, until I turn the corner and find him. It has brought back a newfound sense of enthusiasm and direction. A return of motivation that was wearing damn thin, but it’s back.

And even if I turn the corner and there is only a ghoul or a siren that somehow tricked me again, I know that all was not in vain. I still went forth with intention and purpose. Weaving a delicate, intricate web of love and truth in the wake of each of my passing steps. And the motivation this brought forth to me has only furthered my journey into the deeps. Into rebuilding the world as only our deepest cells know it is meant to be. The codes of truth of golden light written inside each and every one of us, finally coming back online, to bring forth the heavens we know we are meant and destined to be living within, here on this beautiful earth. I know that not all is or will be lost, even if I  am wrong, because truth has prevailed and will continue to do so, no matter what. It is fated, and it is prophesied, and it is written. It is inevitable that we will once again return to the palaces of light that we know we hail from. We will build worlds of peace upon this very earth plane. Even if we do not witness it in this present lifetime, it is coming and slowly but surely we uncover the truth that it is already and always has been here.  witness it in this present lifetime, it is coming and slowly but surely we uncover the truth that it is already and always has been here.