River bed
Forever young in a body that is always changing. How the future rearranges. Is loving dangerous, cause you could lose me? Let’s swim in deep water, find the sunken ships full of treasure. Let’s come up for air and make love on the beach, in the shade of willow trees. Let’s go back down for more, swim for ages, have a family, find a lost dog, give it a collar and a name and medicine for flees. Let’s call this dreaming or make it into reality. Let’s listen to the sounds as the way we communicate our love for one another. Share each others oxygen in the deep. Then realize we can always breathe underwater. Let’s lean into the unknown, and then come up to what is familiar and comfortable.
Rate the following in order of importance:
Understanding
Freedom
Comfortability
Organization
Maybe they were something else, maybe it’s all the same. Such a jumble of so many things yet upon reflection they all swim and seam together so effortlessly and all that I crave is the river bed to hold the curves of my body as I rest in the moving water. There is simplicity and ease and openness and expanse within everything. There is contraction as a mode to expand even further. Can you feel the birds in your bones when you are in the city or do you crave the rushing of the wind through the paper birch leaves. How they laugh and wave their greetings and congratulations to you for living a life so whole.
Do you crave to wake up to ride a dragon into the light? The great kind and tender eyes of a being who has loved you before you even had a name. What is it that you would like to be called? May I please respect that and honor you for who you are, don’t dim to fit in and ensure your proper protection yet also know that the plants are doing all of this on your behalf without you even needing to know. Pink yarrow and tamarack and burdock and calendula and clover. Soap berry, tundra twayblade, willow.
Held back in order to spring forward. What holds you in place is only teaching you how to tread water with greater strength. Do all the timelines, all the different options, all the different things that could collapse and coalesce into one reality have any power? Or is all there is just the present moment?
What about the dreams that swim forth to and through us when we are just open enough to receive, what about those ones wrapped and guided in light? Only 23 yet so much all at once, my heart, the great cosmic heart is the center of it all. Someone else’s channel is just as vital as my own. Yet my own, your own, holds all the individual keys you may need, just ask for the bravery to receive the truth that your soul needs to hear.
Each word is a step lower and lower into the mine shaft. I have put torches up on the walls as I have walked down here many times before, to mine, to receive, to give back for what is being taken, what is being given.
If I were to call you up at 3 am after a song sings it to me, would It be left to ring? Would I receive if the roles had been switched?
I heard earlier: “my love for them, allowed the resistance to let go. Even though I couldn’t be with them in the way that I wanted, or was easiest for me, in the end, my heart was full from giving them what they truly needed to be well”
-
How can we give to others what they need when what it seems we may want or need is something entirely different? Can we show up for our friends, children, partners, community in the ways that they need? Putting our own ideas and agendas aside.
Yes, yes yes, 10,000 times yes this is what I want, yet why must I also let it go at the same time? If you lived in my mind would you find sanctuary? Do you wish to be coddled or held? If you had no limbs would you still be able to love? If you could not eat or hear or speak would you still wish to roam this earth? So dependent on those around you?
I’m learning that I would. And that I do. To be able to feel the kiss of the breeze, the wind upon my skin, to feel the water move over my body. Holding me, cleansing me, listening to me and my cries and my prayers and my heart. To lay my head back in a soft patch of moss, let me live. I sing out in the deep underground meadow, a sanctuary of life and light hidden from sight, I yearn to live.
