The lesson
The lesson is within confronting the fear, and doing it anyway. Confronting the deepest and most archaic ache and desire and doing it anyway. Facing the burdens and the weights and the longings and the unrest. Facing the hatred and the solitude and the isolation. The pain, the guttural pain, the shredding of body from bone and doing it anyway. The discomfort, trying to hold it all in and together and to not mess up, not mess up, not mess up. It’s like a chokehold and a complete mace to the soul. To conform, to keep quiet, to play small, to listen and then to ignore. What is it that you truly need?
What is it that you truly want? When all the dreams and the desires and the yearnings are just that, pieces of paper, or experiences had, and then they are done and gone. And the softness, the receptivity, the openness starts to spread its way into my bones and I feel as I begin to relax. “I win” it says, “I win” I say. Not at the expense of another but simply in the game that I have constructed for myself. Confronting the shadow, confronting myself. It’s a natural process, it happens easily, it simply comes forth. I don’t really need to do much other than just be here and watch and observe and witness and listen. And allow it to reveal itself. Sharp fangs and claws and all. And bloody, rusted gears. Bruised knuckles. And an open heart, bleeding out. The gore is as if to show for the feelings that sometimes don’t seem to go, for the words are here, yet internally I feel so crystal clear.
Would they know me? Would they like to hear? Would they want to see it clear?
Do you? Though it may make you squirm in your seat, push it off to next lifetime a subconscious birdy chirps. Why not now, why not face it here and now as it presents itself to us? Though we cannot know when everything dies, why not embrace the opportunity to dive headfirst into life as it is as we see it? Right here, right now, what calls you forth? What begs for manifestation?
Gift it to us, face it, listen to it, and transform it into your greatest treasure of the soul. For it will and never can be taken from you. You do not need to grip to things that are of the soul, for they come and they go and they flow with so much ease. For they are just as much you as you are them. It’s natural, it’s effortless, it’s pure and pleasurable and it’s expansive. It’s the space in which we open everything up to be seen. We cannot change anyone else, we cannot change ourselves beyond the truth of who we are, yet we can celebrate within the vast and utter wilds of all that we experience, of all that we are. Broken and bruised or shining and golden, we are whole, we are complete. We are free.
