Through the mountain
The pigs are after me, a step of something behind. The story of yesterday. Disillusionment and illusions crafted into a reality that is a risk to my own sanity. All because I thought one could read my mind, thankfully, that’s not the case.
Are we walking, running, skipping, skimming and flying on parallel paths? The idea is to surrender and to let go. Stay in my own lane and follow and feel the flow of what lights me up authentically. The ask is to take risks and to step out of my comfort zone. The ask is to be confident and secure in myself and my power. How could I without revealing the whole truth of my heart and my body and my being. Coming back together just to leave it all again in a week or two, “yeah… this isn’t what I thought” discarded like a plastic bag. A Katy Perry song, you’re gonna hear me roar.
How confined I had become and how the swallow swoops into the eve to build her nest. A child coming into my consciousness, into the shadows of me to tell me, to help me as we hide under the table cloth, that the monster that was coming was part of me. It wasn’t a chicken or a dinosaur, it was part of me that I had been running from. And so what is it that I had been running towards? Someone that I thought would diminish and clear away the pain, do you believe in God?
I scream to take no shit. I scream to have my voice be heard, and I am told that love is what softens. I do not paint violence with violence. I am but the channel, I am the conduit for divinity. I am the channel for spirit. You know what’s coming, since you were 8, you’ve know. Even if you hid it away in the closet. That’s how you’ve known me for so long. The idea of you shocked me to the core, like lightening breaking through a bedroom, yet love is what softened me to the bone. Love is what gave me the strength and the courage to persevere.
You don’t need to do it if you don’t want to but you know what’s coming your way. What your soul is calling to you. You need not be afraid, we lifted up in the spirit of mother Mary, an ascension of spirits in a cathedral of rock. You are safe to surrender, you are safe to let go now. You are safe to allow your spirit to be lifted. Yes, there are always the ideas of others, yet the truth is within the pudding, a hand on your back as you sob in the face of divine love. I love you long time.
I don’t see your face yet I feel your embrace. This is something that can’t be structured or something constructed. 10,000 sleepless nights, 10,000 drops of Jupiter. Of lakes, of expanse, of things beyond the confines of the structures of Saturn. You are Jupiter, you are Leo, you are the sun and I am Pluto. I am Scorpio, I am Venus and I am the cold of the moon.
Many drawn into my embrace until the feel the suffocation of their own deepest selves, and I hold the space, and I hold the light and I hold the truth for us and for them, and many many many others run away. You are seen you are loved, you are cherished in your light and I hold you in your cold. You need not drown in away. Allow it all to uplift the other. Allow one depth to reach the other height. We are different energies. We are different beings. You are golden light and I am deep purple and blue. I am the piecing blue white light in the depths of the deepest sea and you are the sun that illuminates the town, all the love for the world to see.
I bring us all into the spaces no man ever wishes to travel yet knows that they must and you uplift us beyond the stars. A yin a yang and the parts of me dance and sing and play in succession with the other. No need to try so hard, no need to struggle. What goes down will always come up, and the other way around, and in this I hold the ground. I hold the ground through my embodiment, through my ability to know and to see and to feel and to intuit. When your face pierced my veils as I danced within the stars, I allowed it in, I could shut it off, yet courage within the cold asks me to venture forth. To be me, to share me, no matter the response of the reaction.
And I know that in my fullness I am adored. I know that I am loved and cherished because I open the doors that you may not venture forth through in your own, and I provide the portal. I provide the gateway and the chamber of presence to say “hey, it’s okay, it’s okay to see you, it’s okay to be you, it feel you, to know you, and most importantly, to love you”
It’s all okay, and it’s vital for long term fulfillment and growth. Yet it feels cold and my hands turn yellow at the tips, yet I know that this is for us all. This is the passageway through, this is the portal and the tunnel through the mountain. You need not climb it or turn back around, you can trust the structure and the way you have excavated the rock, with calculated blows, it’s all connected my love, it’s all connected my dear. I am you and you are I and we surrender and we fly and I love you in all of you. In your mystery, in your magic. You carry me forth and in the stars we fly.
The attachment to the ego is the love for the self, the personality, the one that is unique and can play games and be kind and fly and slithery and beat a friend to a pulp in a old ski lodge. Pull back your power, pull back your purpose and disentangle. It’s this game of back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and when is it that we will be dancing side by side, forth always. Why step back if we are dancing? Why not sink low and get into the hips, feel the pull of your muscle on the top of the thigh and yes, here we are and now we climb back up again.
It’s time to walk through the tunnel and know that there is the light at the other side. You are the one who constructed it as your safe passage through. It’s the easiest way and the clear rest route through. And you are the light in the inside, you are the light that’s guiding you through. It need not be something to fear, the dark of a tunnel. The rock hums and breathes steadily as you take your individual steps. Vibrato of comfort and care, you are the lighthouse my dear.
The question now is what really is on the other side? What is on the other side of this? Where is it that I am going? Taking my fools pack and little dog and venture forth with joy and an open heart and the wisdom of all ancestors.
I see me in you. It’s beautiful. It’s wicked, it’s ugly, it’s unkind, it’s messy, it’s unclean. It’s perfect, it’s pure, it’s innocent and it’s true. I see you, I see all of you. I see all of you and I love you.
Red raspberry baby.
Who knew this is what it would all be, yet in it, I feel so fucking alive. Ready, willing, and able to fly. A yellow plane for the skies.
