This moment

This moment

Loud movements, I live great light, yet too the shadows stretch across the walls. The avoidance, the blinding of my own eyes to stay ignorant, to not have to meet the moment, to not have to meet what is here. The distractions, how I run within my own mind, go and hide, go and hide, go and hide. How I yearn for just peace, to breathe, present, with my heart open as the stars within each moment. I reach out for a dream that isn’t where I am at. Death behind me, I pickup the energy of what I’ve created, and it’s dense, it’s full and it’s thick, and too, it’s full of light and passageways through. This is winter. This is, and it’s dense, and to feel means to crack myself open. To be clear, to be kind, I feel buried under the snow, the earth. I wish to be one of the living, and I know that I am, though death touches me gently, for I am tired. 

I could slow down for a little while. Rest, and listen and just let the earth hold me. It’s a new day they say, I hear the harmonica, I am reminded of presence with you, jarring and sharp and pain filled. I am loved. I remind myself, oh how pain filled. All I can do is breathe. All I do is breathe. Resilient to my core. Bone deep I am strong.