The matter of the heart
Changes of the heart
Leaning back into into into. Lead turns into tin, soon to be transformed again, gold is on the horizon, yet here is just this, here is the miracle and the beauty and the magic of what is right now. Like being stringed up and woven through the holes in my skin. Will I be able to relate to who I have once been? I keep my head up over and over and over again, my body stuck to the walls but my spirit survives, and I wake myself up, I free myself from these binds, stuck power, like glue, I am free to now move, I can go anywhere, I can now groove. It’s okay to be stuck and it’s okay to get myself free. It’s okay to explore this new territory. It’s okay to look things in the eye and it’s okay to cry and it’s okay to let go and it’s okay to fly, just keep connected to your heart and you will never fly too far away, for you have a nest, and a lover to fly home to, a heart that is held within tender strong hands, a place upon which to return to. There is always a place to return to, and it’s within, it’s within, it’s within, and it’s shown without. It’s within, and it’s without. Feel it within, and it shows itself without. Don’t force, don’t push, don’t shove, just lean back, feel your way in and drop drop drop into love.
It’s safe to feel now, it’s safe to come out of hiding, the white rabbit says to me, the remnants of a battle all around. I shake and I shiver but I follow him to my scattered loves, ragtag crew taken apart amidst the chaos of destruction tearing us apart, he now, now he guides me to them. It’s safe now, it’s safe now the white rabbit says. It’s safe now.
A heartbreak planned on the horizon, to feel deeper into the stories that now color my life in poem. A heartbreak of remembering, a heartbreak of its own kind for it opens up the wounds that have been there all this time. But this time, to feel, to heal, to see the love that holds that heartbreak in its hands. Tender and soft and loving and strong. To see the heartbreak and feel it and know that this is a new life and we have another try. We have another try. Faith in it all always brings us closer to the truth. Closer to the truth. The truth that we feel within our bones, that we know within our cells. The truth that is released from Pandora’s box. For if it’s meant to be it will be. I forgive as it all comes back to me.
It’s it’s meant to be, we shall rise together, and if it is not, this will fall away with ease and grace. With ease and grace.
I root for you. And I am in your side. I am in your corner and I am by your side. I remember now.
What more do you have to say? For I know there is more upon your tongue, there is more within your heart, there is more within your bones, your cells, these walls bound to be stripped down and torn apart and ravaged by the beast of clarity, of a heart torn open, of a heart that’s not afraid to love deeper, stronger, more devotional than ever before. A heart that’s been to hell and back so many times that has now felt the light. Felt the love, real love, the love that transcends time and space and everything in between, a heart that beats and knows and feels. A heart that feels. An echo in this space. A memory that fills its place, a heart weeps and at the end of it I’ll be laughing.
I bring you closer in through feeling into my heart. I bring our life into the fullness of this picture through surrendering, through feeling, through totally and entirely letting go, letting go, letting go and knowing that love is here to catch me, that I have an eternal safety net and I feel it within each moment that I keep my eyes open and my body feeling. Love is here to catch me, love is here to watch me fly. Love is here to guide. Love eternal, love eternal, love eternal.
As true as all the stories and beyond, it transcends. Feel it and remember, feel in and remember, feel in and find your certainty.
Shining a little light on my soul
