The flames of cinder
The cat, and the coffin and an idea of what is more. What does your heart say? What does your heart feel?
Feeling pulled into the waves of another, some other body, some other wing. Maybe their force is stronger than I yet I realize that resistance is not the answer. Surrender in and see where it guides you even if it’s uncomfortable and unsure. It’s someone else’s fantasy and I hear how the keyboard makes its own sounds, its own creative song. I hear and I see and I ask the angels to guide me and so they do. I question the resistance as one does when they are exercising their muscles and wonder what the whole thing is for? Yes, it burns a little at times, yes there is the fire and the Agni and then there is the strength that follows, that is slowly, slowly, slowly born through the discomfort. And then there is the long term health and wellbeing. This is what I question and I wonder about. When energy seems to be pulled into someone else’s root, someone else’s orbit, how to stay and remain strong and so earn within the self. String and so earn within the truth if who I know myself to be, for alignment is the most powerfully of all frequency. Alignment to god to source to the power of love and truth. To knowing yourself fully, deeply, completely, and seeing all that you are and always coming back to center, there is no shove, no push, no pull, there is the simple and the ever unfolding.
Just wait for Gemini season when all things of the mind come out to play. The thoughts have been loud the last few days, trying to remind within the centered heart med and grounded space. My own root. That is in reverence to the earth. That knows what I am here to do and here to say, and confident within my intentional play. The water moves me, and oh how she moves me. Yet how do I move, without causing a scene? Why worry about the moods or the faces of others? So many ideas, so many questions, so much sorrow and outside it rains. Outside it rains.
The songs okay of love, of giving love. Another, black and yellow feels like a portal and the one that pulls it all in and down and I wonder why? Is this something from the past? Is this something that once was? What’s the source of it all and why does it pull so strong like an ankle weight to the bottom of the sea. What more of me do I need to see? What more am I here to embody?
It’s definitely not resistance or force, for I am a being of divine flow, I am safe and I am here to let go. I feel the support of the other side of my brain coming in to hold the rain and drop it all as it transforms. One thought always has another side to it. One thought always has the equal and opposite or multiple dimensions Al qualities of it in a different expression. Example: is it rain here to cleans and purify my whole being, awakening each of my cells, or is it rain the scalds and wounds my skin, acid from the sky. The choice is always within. The choice is always an option, and in it, each thing can be transformed.
The underworld need not be just a place where those go to suffer and die and it’s full of razors and fire, the underworld can look like a prairie or forest flipped upside down. It can simply be the space we go to to find things beneath this conscious level of awareness. It can be the space just below that we go to see and to retrieve more of our authentic, full truths from, it’s the place where we rise up and out of the painful, fearful, hateful space and instead choose to rise into our light. Rise, or simply uncover, uncover within the present moment. As we ground it into our physical bodies and beings.
Hold the light, live it, be it. It’s a natural unfolding, from darkness to light, from deep below to back up on the surface. To understanding how we best walk and play and explore and thrive within the realms of the living.
I see how another lights up the most in her role as a caretaker. To care for another, she shines, unlike I’ve seen her in the few hours we’ve been in company. A couple of true love. They enhance and exchange their power, their energy, one holds the light for the other to let go to surrender, to release. For the other to let go into the soft space of where a child lays, the other holds the power and the presence. The awareness of what’s going on in the world around, they open the space for the other of the pair to slip back and explore. Its safety, its comfort, its care.
It’s okay, it’s safe, it’s perfect. It let yourself go, to follow our flow, what lights you up. It doesn’t matter the words or the ideas of the voices. Internal, external, or in the spaces around the mind. There is chatter until there is silence, and then there is stillness. This is the recorder, the record keeper, the one who observes the serene, writes the scenes, gets it down and guides a quiet way. This is the way behind the bustle of the day, this is the way of peace and patience. Just whined the visible eye. This is the one the fly’s and jolts away from the painful clamps of another’s sharp jaws. This one knows how to write a love story from a war torn city. How to sing a lullaby amidst the clank of bullet casings and bombs falling. This is the one who walks the realm. The one who walks the path between the unseen and the seen, living, dead, gods and spirits and ancestors unseen. This is the one who dances and plays and flys forth with great force. Force of purity, force of love, force of light. The force of faith that sees and deems all as worthy, all as essential, all as important within the whole scene for it is part of the great tapestry and no thread has ever been woven wrong. No cord is out of place.s I promise, it is all perfect. Even the chatter in your brain or the way that you wish it may all be different, it’s all entirely and completely perfect.
Your path is how you create it. What lights you up? What makes you feel the most alive, is it something that is within these earthly realms? Can you find a way to make it so?
“Hold the head underwater just to drown out the noise”
Pushing forward and pulling back the veils. I see my legs as those who wear stockings and they remind me of the sad words I have never read by a woman named Dakota. The sounds of Ethel Cain speak to my mind. “There’s no escaping you no”
I feel as though I am part of a special club that I have created just for myself. This is something that only a certain select few would understand, and it’s only in these very unique and special moment. This small sliver of a vibration that I know few others, a few others I know understand. It’s like a little packet in the wall, that not everyone knows, yet I do, and I know those that do. And I will see them soon and we will find mutual understanding in this space of knowing. This space of coming together and knowing.
Stop thinking, start creating.
Stop thinking, start creating.
Stop thinking, start creating,,,,
Turn what we ruin into the thing that we then build. Head through the wall, your heart will catch your fall. Don’t doubt the words that break forth from our ravens beak. If a crow was a woman she would be 5’9” and have blue eyes, sharp in the corners to show her powers of clear seeing and discernment, she’s cutting with her stare when she wants to be.
I’m sorry that they stole from the nests of others, I’m sorry they took the baby birds from their homes and ate them. If that’s why you are afraid, then I am sorry. I am. Yet the vile pulls forth and back from my teeth and I ran away from a snake in my dreams last night, I wonder what that’s all about.
The awakening of what is coiled up within the pelvis. Would you love me if I let myself really just be, love me in my entirety? When colors fade from pastels into the dark blues, blacks, magentas. Still vibrant as a fire, yet of different shades, these colors are connected to the core. Theses colors creep out in the depths of the night. These colors are just as much a portal as the light. They reside within the back booths of grungy bars and they are the spit upon the microphone that all of you share. These colors scream of the tattoos we adorn our skin with when we don’t know what else to change, the decisions we make when in the depths though holy hell it makes you feel alive. To be in the seat, to have the say, to let your voice be shared and brought out into the light of the day. These expresss of self. The dark castle still loves you full and round and full and I’ll eat you in your entirety right after I strip you down. All you must do is say yes. These songs are full of something beyond the conscious realm and I hear “ I do, I do, I do” followed by at least 30 or more “I love yous”
It’s you, it’s me. Respect their space, respect their privacy, this one feels like centipedes and bugs that crawl and those that hide deep and down within caves. This is the one of unity, to embrace the experience, the going in, the headed down, the down into the depths. I can’t see anyone down, here. I see others that have gone and come back up, I can call another back down with me or I can allow myself to explore. And now, now, I breathe deep, and I swim back up to the surface, back up into the bright air.
Down here I see those with their pants down, vulnerable and unsure. Just serve, just observe, and go forth with the heart. No need to change or to interact. Just observe and swim forth. No judgement, just experience. And swim back up to the surface and let go of all that we have seen. The hearts capacity only continues to grow. The hearts ability to love all only continues to expand. Keep swimming up, find your way back up to land, and float. And float and float.
Flotsam, I love you.
