Softies
Sometimes I just don’t seem to know, it feels frequent, but then I always seem to find the right route, or avenue or pathway to go down. The right rabbit hole that always brings me back to that ever lasting place of goodness inside of me. Can I claim everything it is that I feel to be my own?
I wonder and question if I’ve been carrying around a weight that is not my own, maybe my mother, or grandmother, or a past lover, my sister, or simply the weight of the world. The collective sink hole. I wonder and I question, why am I always yearning to just get out? To find something new, a distraction, or some form of distance or space, some type of walls to put up between me and the feeling.
I wonder if all this feeling will one day fester and build up, create some sort of mass behind my heart that I will have to get surgically removed. All this feeling, all this aching, all this opening, all of these tears and the demands of the present that I know bring healings, because I’ve now cleaned my apartment which has been waiting on me for some time, finally put together again. Maybe the slowly taking the things out that have been shoved underneath the rug and examining them and then letting them go is the healthy outlet. Maybe I’m not lost to the world but probably, almost entirely just finding myself, and maybe it does get better because this seems to be a whole new season of sorts. One where the energetic stores of power and love are something that I tap into from within, though I know they stream through another, they support me, uplift me, guide me. Though it feels quite dark at times all around me, this inner light seems to know the way.
It feels like turning the flashlight on. It feels like becoming the light, no matter how I may appear on the outside, no matter how I may feel within me, as I tune in and feel the guidance and the steadfastness of this inner light, this consistent stream, that is within me, that is within you, that is within all of us, I seem to just know the way. There’s so much less doubt, there’s curiosity, there’s asking, then there’s following what feels right and then receiving all that was asked for. There’s patience, and there’s healing. And yes, it does seem like we’ve now started from the base, from rock bottom, but isn’t this the perfect place to climb up from? Isn’t this the perfect spot to create something entirely new that is connected, that is full of love, that is grounded and rooted and steadfast and strong. Full of life and song and interwoven abundant lives. Full of creativity, and dreams coming true. Full of listening and sharing and opening up. It’s full of everything it is that we could ever imagine and want for, because at this space of full empty, we recognize and realize that our dreams are of the same kind, they are woven into the threads of our dna, they are built within the structures of our molecules and atoms, the dreams that we are now awakening, realizing, activating, bringing forth are dreams that are for the entire world, the entire collective, the cosmos and the galaxies far out and beyond. And together we bring them forth.
The blessings of a blank slate is that we have the chance to fully and entirely build and envision and create from the ground up, knowing that as we stay in tune, in our own lanes, bodies, hearts, what we will and do create is something so entirely aligned. If things don’t fit the bill quite as they seem they should, we can reevaluate and check in… is this really something that is of our soul? Is this something that is really what our hearts desire? Is this something that will sustain us in the short and the long term? Will this create something with nutrition and power and energy that we can give back to those around, to our communities, to this great land, to our own inner ecosystems, our families? Is what we are creating now something that entirely fills us up? If so, if it reaches into the depths of you, into the highest parts of you and seems to expand out into every corner of your being, then yes, yes that’s what you’re meant to create. That’s what your soul came here to do. If you feel seen and exposed and vulnerable and sometimes raw while simultaneously empowered and loved, especially from within, then yes that’s what you’re meant to tune your antenna towards. As we keep our antennas tuned towards what nourishes our souls, we create in all aspects of our lives from this place. It may not be what you expect, or your mind might start to hoot and to holler and say “hey now…. What about this?!” And we listen to our minds to hear what they have to say, and then we tune back into our hearts to get their overview and to feel if what our minds speak of is relevant or simply noises. And, from there we decide and go forth. And soon, the mind no longer seems to need to speak so much, for it begins and starts to trust, to trust the heart, to trust the clear tuning, to trust the instrument of our bodies and what feels good for us and for our souls. Knowing that what our souls need will be made clear through the vessels of our bodies. Through the sensors and perceptions of what our magnificent bodies tell us, there won’t be so much need to for the mind to speak, for the body will make itself heard, and the feeling is just what comes forth, and from there, we are able to soften, to lean into warmth, to connection, to love. From here we are able to lean into the tenderness of our hearts, knowing that maybe what is growing is not a mass of too many cells behind our hearts but simply the true and profound ability to feel what it is that our hearts sing to. To know that they are our compasses bright and strong and clear and true and everything that they bring us to is so that we can retrieve and heal what it is that they (we) know that we are ready for. What we know that we now have the capacity to feel, to feel in our bodies, to then tone down and slowly silence the mind, so the mind develops and reveals itself to be our greatest tool rather than our most feared enemy.
The heart creates a field of protection around oneself, it neutralizes all hate and transforms it upon impact, for nothing is stronger than love. And love has already won. Keep tuning into the magic of your heart, keep listening to your souls wisdom. Keep trusting, keep expanding your mind beyond what you never knew possible, keep feeling and keep trusting, you are not alone in this, and you never will be.
Feel it to heal it my love, I’m right here with you.
