Rest now
There’s nothing more that needs to be done. It’s all been set in motion, and from where we stand, with honesty and integrity as our faithful guides, we let go. We relax back. We trust in the ease of this moment and this breath. There’s nothing more to hold onto, like a child letting go of the balloon into the air. A mistake, yet a lesson. The balloon a ticket to joy for a few moments yet not what will keep the child happy for long. Some tears shed in its releasing, its letting go, its floating up, and the perspective of the parents, “look at how beautiful it looks now that it’s free! Floating with the wind, how lucky we are to get to watch as it’s carried away!” though painful for we once were so attached, we find peace in the moment of no longer holding on. A child that feels, empty, because, what if we had just held on a little bit more? What if I had just been more careful and didn’t loose sight or get distracted? What if? Then I’d have a balloon I’d get to bring home to share with my friends, it would live up in the ceiling once I let it go at home. It would stay up there day after day after day until eventually it lost enough helium and floated down. It wouldn’t be with the great garbage patch outside, it would be inside until I brought it outside to join the great garbage patch by my own choosing.
Humans are not balloons, neither are experiences, nor dynamics and connections. Though, they are fluid and fun and able to be released out into the great world if we don’t tend to them well with the proper precautions. The truth is, things that are meant to stay with us, for us, will not float away like balloons. They are the sturdy things, the grounded things, the strong things that have choice and hearts and integrity, they are the things that will keep the child happy in the long run, for they come from within us, within our bodies, within our souls. To create play and toys and games from nothing other than the grace of our spirit, that’s the way. To turn mud and sticks into a great castle with moats and stories. The child does not need a balloon for when it has loving family, all will be provided. All will be created for them, with them, the things fit for the long haul. People to teach them, to help them learn and grow. To provide for them and teach them to provide for themselves. Guides and masters and prophets and sages. Those that see their strength and grit and ability to rise, with tenderness and compassion and gentleness and strength, the kind of love that will never ever leave them. The child is then not afraid of a balloon flying away, for the balloon is just a plastic toy, it is nothing of the heart, nothing of substance like the grounded community support around them is, the balloon can fly away and then the only concern is it getting trapped in some animals nest. The concern is not for what is lost but instead what could potentially do harm. And then the steps are taken, to ensure that the harm is then not inflicted. Like not getting a balloon in the first place, or tying it to the wrist as so it does not fly away.
How do I work and move with integrity in each moment? When I feel as though I am both the child and the parent. The one raised on balloons flying away, quick fixes for happiness, devoid of the stability of grounded community support in the early years, a consumer born to consumers doing their very best in a world gone blind. How do I ensure I move with integrity and not fall into the traps of balloons and ideas and thought forms and quick actions that satiate the open wound of emptiness within? How do I work with integrity, as the apprentice to the great One, the parent to my own inner child, saying I do not need all the things or the reaching and grabbing to fill the holes inside, how do I stay within integrity within myself to ensure that I am faithful and wise? How do I make things right? How do I make amends? How to I transform the things that have already been done with unconsciousness into things that are here to sustain in the long run? How do I pull myself up and hold my own hand with compassion and respect and care, and how do I continue to keep going? Yet change the path and routes from the old ways, old stories of this or that, of believing myself to be something to the point of loosing it all, giving it all away, self sacrificing, how do I change it to something fit for the light of day? Fit for family, fit for community? Wishing for someone to hold me down and snap me out of it, saying “wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Seize the day! Don’t go down those paths anymore! I love you and you’ve learned! Now get up and go and do the things that you know, that set your soul alive and keep your head held high with the power you know is within you” Can I even ask for such a thing? Or will my unconsciousness haunt me forever, can I really choose discipline over chaos and know that I can do it? Be supported, held, understood and seen in my strength, can I do this for myself? Can I rewrite the whole story and change the whole course from something that’s been before, to something that is meant to be? Do I have it within me?
I guess we will see, grounded, supported, heart led integrity. I choose the path of the great mother’s divinity.
