One step at a time… ladybugs lead

Do you count the spots on a ladybugs back? The one to my left looks like a skull, the shape of the eyes and the nostrils. I sat down and said “dear heart” and now I question at what cost. I felt my aura being cleaned and cleared, a dark spot in my spine where my heart resides and I thought of how I messaged a lump out of the same spot on a friends back. So here I sit, and I lean back, and I wonder if this is that.

I read that “I am nothing if not a compilation of all those that I have loved before” and I let it resonate. And then I sat back and fought against it, for I am my own me, my own version of self and in how my heart breaks and I question and I wonder if this is me or if this is another. If this is a ladybug or the spine of a friend or if this is simply a parallel within my own soul that I see reflected out in the pains of others; The lady bug is on the move. A friend in the making. It steers towards the Wild Ginger card. Seven of wands, reversed. Standing ones ground while others (internal or external) try and tear you down. In reversed means that maybe I have lost my ground and those ‘others’ have gotten in over my head. The card I woke up to, in which I started my day was one of a lady underwater. Eyes closed she saw through the third eye open upon her brow and so that is why I write. I write to transmute for me and for you. We feel, and then we heal. We go through this process together, because what you feel is real and it’s not here to be run from or hidden from sight, it’s something to be nurtured and brought into the light.

You pain is here it teach you, you pain is here to help you live free, your pain is here to liberate you’d beyond what you may have ever thought or perceived.

The ladybug stopped to take a break at a small cookie crumb upon my desk. I wonder if one day I’ll have a great wooden one, maybe oak, to ground the truth of my words within the wisdom of the trees. Knowing that I am the vessel, I feel this great oak desk here with me now; I sit and I write to the earth.

Happy earth day dear friends and lovers. How does your belly feel? Are you holding back on your power? Are you hiding your voice behind the wind? Are you moving in circles? Unsure of where to go? How can you unlock yourself from this tight suffocating embrace? There’s nothing to run from, only to move towards. There’s light channels through, for you are the channel and only you know what to do. It lights me up as much as it illuminates you. We are in this together dear friends, one foot at a time, one breath, until the very end.

Mother Mary, beyond religion, reminds me of my great tender heart and how I have had walls up. How I have sought to control and make it into some sort of frosted cake of an experience. But the truth of me is always right here, and I know the lock and I also am the key and so I ask, I wonder, why do the layers keep coming back? Why do they keep forming? Why can’t I just live with my heart open and free all of the time?

I feel the bind in my belly as if someone is squeezing at my power center. I didn’t meditate today, I didn’t behind a shield of light yet I know that that is okay. I know that this is just a moment and an opportunity to rest and to reset, to breathe and to just be. We need not go to the jungle to find our truth, we can do it right here, we can set ourselves free. Am I pleading out? Someone, anyone, please do it with me! How isolating it may feel to be alone in it. No one else knows what it’s like to be deep within the suffering for I wish to not pull you down yet in its parallel I know that you do know, you’ve felt it too. They say that misery loves company and so too does the light. We go down to swim back up. I will guide us back to the surface, feel as the water washes upon your skin. Yes, you could leave and go off and do your own thing, but the truth of the matter is this is only possible if we all work together. Yes your empowerment, your healing, your light is a decision that only you can make, but I am here to remind you that you’ve always had legs that know how to walk, that you can breathe underwater when in the depths of a pressurized sea, and your fins know how to swim you up the the surface if you’re a whale like me and prefer the sunshine and the fresh air. You have it all within you, all the tools, and all the modes of pulling yourself up. Your suffering is real, and it is worthy of being known, it is needing of being felt but then it needs to be transformed, or released into something new, otherwise you will live always in the base of the stew. I write this to myself as much as I do to you.

The new card that comes forth is the Queen of cups and oh how I wish to smoke some weed, though I know the clarity that I feel and receive comes through better when I am free. We could edit it out if we could embrace all that we see, we swim through consciousness and the great mystery. All that I know is that I don’t know and I am open and receptive to seeing, to receiving. Trust and recieve, trust and recieve.

The pressure feels heavy upon my chest as if I wear a lead jacket, I undermined the power of another and that’s what twisted me up inside. Why not hold the light of truth up? Why not always stand with this brightness from inside?

The ladybug moves fast, back and forth upon my screen. This ladybug of death. Helps me to let go, to wash myself clean. When we trust in the power of another, the true heartfelt power of another to really guide us, to steer us home, to not block or prevent this from happening, when we open up and dissolve resistance to the endings, paving ways for new beginnings, we are able to receive. Heart open and we receive.

What are you holding onto? What are you clinging to? How someone else may perceive you? Or how in love you truly are and how you may wish not to see that?

I be once curious about he’d words and how they feel shrouded in a dark cloth. Not bad no, there’s definitlaky light within them, yet why do they have this edge of a dark blanket? I feel as though it is the beefy that is within the air. Though I live far away, I live out where very few roam, I still feel it. And through this feeling I know. I know my responsibility to heal it, and to rise. To rise as a torch bearer for others, just as you too are, my dear friend. You are this brightness light as much as I, and this is your call to rise. To stand up and keep your head lifted towards the skies. Your feet upon the earth, your heart open and strong and beating, steady, percussive. Our power is most beneficial when we do it all tougher. No one else’s power is a threat to your own, no one else’s great angelic embodiment is a threat to the truth of you, if there are voices or feelings that it is, then those ideas are coming from some other source. Not the truth of you and your heart. For the heart knows, the heart feels and the heart understands truth. And when we feel truth, real, golden, lively truth, we can follow it, we can allow it to guide us, because it guides us from within. And it will only lead us to greater expanse and joy. To greater embodiment of our truest most authentic selves. Truth will guide us out if the dark shadows of misery and pain. I promise you.

There’s nothing you need to hide or nothing to worry about. There’s no part of you that is unworthy of this love. We are all here to be brought into the great cosmic hug of Gaia, of Sophia, of spirit, of the divine. Of unconditional Love. With each other, with ourselves. Together. I understand, I feel it, and you need not be afraid. As we allow ourselves to be held, to be guided, to be supported by this love, more of our souls authentic truth pours forth and out of our vessels. Through song, through word, through poem, breath or being. Trust your word and share it with the world. With all of us. Your pain has something to teach you about the truth of who you are. I write here and now because I see, and I know and I understand. I see and I know and I feel and I understand and I promise you are not alone. Misery loves company and so too does the light. And we need you here with us now, whenever and as you feel ready to accept, here is my hand and I will guide you to land.

Stella Maria, guiding our souls out of the deep seas. Allow this love to set you free. What more would you like to know? To share is to live free. There’s nothing to hide from, no power too great or too small to contain. True power, the power of love embodied. Truth, truth will always guide you home and I am but a vessel of this here and now. I held back before for I thought you needed to find the answers on your own, yet now I understand that we are here to give and to receive, to give and to receive, to give and to receive and to trust. And to hold back is a disservice to ourselves as well. I sat in the discomfort of keeping my spirit contained. I sat and I held in my tongue to allow the space for you to explore and roam about, and I know that that is an essential moment upon this path. To allow, to witness, to observe as you wander, as you move too and fro, trying to find something anything, anyway out, yet now I am here to reach down and to lend a hand and to pull you up. Feel it reaching down to you, and allow it to light you up if this is what you so choose. I do, I do. I choose to let the light in and to guide me and to hold me.

Allow this light to pierced you with everything it is that you may need. Grounding, stability, care, comfort, connection and truth. The clearing about of past soul memories or imprints that still run their course, allow this light to wash away the pain and allow yourself to be lifted. You can trust it and you can let go.

What more is it that I need it know? Why does the block and the restriction and the fear still remain? The idea that if you rise, if you truly surrender then how will you come back to earth again? Who will honor and hold the souls trapped down here in the dark if I rise up and out of it? Who will hold their hands if I let go? The divine always will.

I am reminded that to rise is to serve all. To rise is to serve the entire collective. To rise is to honor yourself. But misery loves company and I want to keep them company, a child’s voice remains.

Who will honor and hold the one trapped so far down, so deep down in the dark below if I rise up and out of it? A yearning to stay with the tender child’s heart, the one who has lived down here for so long. The one who has felt alone and abandoned and lost. Misery loves company yet it seemed no one wanted to exist in this space, until now, when and as we find ourselves here, we open the space. We open the space and we allow all to exist. All to exist there is no right or wrong way. We can remind down here, our open, loving, tender and true hearts. Our pure clear souls light or all colors and vibrancies, all of us can remain down here in the depths with the child’s heart until they are ready. There is no rush, there is no need to fight against any of it at all. We simply be here, fully, entirely in presence with ourselves, and we breathe. We breathe and we breathe. And we become curious. Curious as to what it’s been like down here, and why this child’s heart wishes it stay. Why they wish to keep connected to the monsters and the gremlins of the dark. “Because no ones loved them before” she says, no one has loved them and so I do. This was the vow that I created, cast out and aside I said “I vow to love you, I vow to love all of you, I vow to love you fully and deeply and completely” even if you seek to harm me upon initial contact I will and I do love you. Neutralize your fear, hatred and anger with unconditional compassion; I sat down here, the child self within me sat down here. The child within me sits. The Holy Spirit, the angels come down and clear the space, they open it up and make it easier to breathe. They reduce some of the pressure of living in the sea floor. They make it golden and bright again and beautiful. Others may question why, why do any of this, yet something deep in me, the truth if me knows. For justice. For justice. For justice.

For all of these voices and these beings have been pushed out of frame, out of view they have been cast out, they have been criticized and blamed and sought to be destroyed by the ones who dwell upon the surface. They have tried to hide their shadows away, tired to dissolve or diminish them and continue forth with their lives of ease, though slowly parts of them start to fracture off and they do not know why or how it get them back. So that is why I am here, and I have made a safe portal and space down here, maybe not to live but a place to visit. To come back to, they become my friends these ‘monsters’ of the deep. For I know too how it swim and to twirl and to dance around them. How to move in my own ways. They hoard gems and diamonds and gold, they understand the movement if the tectonic plates and the deep pressurized gases if the sea floor, they have seen islands being born through the shifting of these plates. They are the ones closest, truly closest to the core for they reside in the deepest of the depths. Closest to the core of Gaia, of our great mother. Of all that is, they know her like no other, her power, they respond and respect and flow. Just because very little light becomes itself down here means not that these creatures are to be hidden or disgraced. They have so much to share with and teach us about our own true selves. About what we have hidden and kept in the deepest reaches of our being, the parts that we have sought to hide or shun away that are just as crucial and essential to our existence. To living the fullest embodiment of our truth. To living full embodied lives. Your conscious mind may not know why you search, why you yearn, what you are even looking for, yet your soul knows. Your soul knows and that is why you are here. Reading, listening, activating and knowing. You are allowing your truth to be seen and for all of your parts to come back home to you now. All fractured and scattered aspects of your souls conscience and psyche are coming back and home to you now. Through this simple exploitation and opening.

I come down here not to suffer. I came down here in the dark because I know and I knew that the light is ready to travel in. The light of illumination. The felt resonance, it’s not a light to blind those who travel in peace, it’s a light to illuminate and share and express our deepest truths. Bring them up to the surface, to integrate into our whole. This is Lumine Nyx.

If you’re still here then I know that you are ready too. Your soul is ready to live fully integrated. To awaken fully, to feel the entirety of who you are. Your soul is ready to know all, so you may live a whole and complete existence upon the surface. Within any layer or level of dimension. So you may live in the light that you are always. So you may move through and navigate the changing waters at any depth, of any storm, of a clear day with ease. With complete and effortless ease. I am here to help you, for your embodiment, your lighting up lights me up too. I need not have it to live whole and complete, yet your fullness makes it all the more magical. We work best together my friends. I will swim so you may fly and you will swim so I may die and be reborn again and again and again. The phoenix child ignites. For I always am flying on my dreams. Pulling apart the illusions at their seams. We write, we ignite, we take flight.

I love you. Ladybugs, and wands, and cups and sea. Monsters and foes and enemies. I love you all so entirely. We can go wherever our hearts wish to be and through this curiosity, this playful exploration we are free. You know the truth if you and only you do, the one singularity within you is something only you can find. It’s your choice if you wish to share it with us, though I am sure it will happen in time.

‘One step at a time, there’s no need to rush, it’s like learning to fly or falling in love. It’s gonna happen when it’s supposed to happen, then we find the reasons why, one step at a time.’ - Jordin Sparks

🔥🐣🪨🫨♥️

🐦‍🔥

The more you seen, the more you know, the more you love, the more exciting life is. And anything can be part of the party. Let’s celebrate!

You’ve made it to the core.

I love you 😘♥️♥️

Peace and love. 🎉🥳👯‍♀️🍾