Is it hell? Is it home? Or is it me?

What more is there to say? To let a good thing die is to let the soul drain out the bottom of the shower, with the old hair and grime. To flush and wash it all away down in the sewers with the rats and the vermin. To let a good thing die is to say no more to the things that keep me floundering, trapped, stuck in place. To let a beautiful thing die is to understand the interconnectedness of all things. How lonely it must be to be still holding on, knuckles white and purpling at the edges, I see my own reflection. To hold on is to suffocate. So I remind myself that letting go is easy and I have the keys, Jesus, mother Mary, Quan yin, Isis, they all hold me here as I sit with a heart that feels like it may burst with with all the expansions taking place within me. The slow releasing, the letting go and the turning towards the light. The true light, the true care the resides within. It’s not given from someone outside of me, it’s not something that I can grasp at or hold from the hands of another person. It’s within me, it’s always and eternally within me. And it bursts my heart at the seams to know it, to feel it, because it’s the greatest wave of waking up that I’ve ever known. This loving so deep and so profound and so all encompassing, it counteracts everything I’ve ever been taught. It all comes from within. No one to turn to except to cherish and delight and rejoice within the love that resides within my sacred radiant heart, all of our radiant hearts.  It feels like no one has the keys. No one outside of me does, or if they do, it shall only be revealed when and as I lean into this all encompassing loving within me. 

It takes me out of the depths, I sent this all powerful love to my leg as it remained cramped and tense. I woke up from dreams of devotion, a boundary turned into true pleasure, a desire to serve. 

Is it hell? Is it home? Or is it me? 

Recognizing that no one outside of me can give me permission to receive. Only I can do that, to open up, to let the angels open me up, to breathe breathe breathe breathe breath baby breathe into the heart and the tense places and the stuck feelings. Only love can move through me to bring the healing and only I can be the one to let it in. And love teaches me, brings me to all the places that fear once did and shows me a new way, that love is safe, and love is trustworthy and love is all expansive. And I let this love widen and widen me. Love is truly unconditional when it is felt so entirely, and love can be followed, through aligned actions from within. To just be with it, to breathe with it, to listen to it. To speak from the heart, what’s been on your mind? Share it openly with those that you trust. Know that love will never ever knock you from center. You do not need to force it, you can invite it all in for tea. 

The pains and the glory’s and everything it is that you’ve been hiding from. You can let it be gentle, as long as you keep breathing and feeling and letting the love guide. 

Is it hell? Is it home? Or is it me? I let the light enter into all the darkest places. Layer by layer I let myself be opened like a flower, like a rose. The thorns serve their purpose, of protection from hungry mouths yet now I know that I am safe. I am safe for it is felt, and I let love open me open me open me. And it all unfolds with ease. And now all that I see around me is beauty. And I know that nothing needs to be run from any longer. Feel it, face it, forgive it, you are free ♥️