I care

And I care and I care and I care. And I tend to the garden, and I nurture my heart, and I open up into the spaces that feel sticky and chaotic, and wild and painful. I care because I know that care is the only thing that will help us all. Care in whatever way that may be. Empowerment is care, strength training is care, easy slow mornings are care. Full nights of rest, and dancing, and back massages, and eating at a restaurant with a view of the big lake, this is all care. Trusting that my angels will support me, hold me, uplift me, guide me, this is true care. Though my heart bleeds and bleeds and bleeds and aches and mourns over and over and over and over again. So too does the water sparkle across the lake, so too do the visions and understandings of life that is beyond this life. Life that is so much more full and fulfilling and whole and complete than anything we can every even imagine. The heart is the anchor for this, so in order for these ideas to be seeded within this world of dense pain and suffering, I must stay connected to my heart. Breathe through my heart, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much it aches, day after day after day, each chip off the block of pain is an opening and expanse into the true love of our beings. Though it feels like a consistent realignment, pulling it all back to center, I wish to cry, to go so far down into the dark that nothing exists anymore, I know that I must keep feeling. I must keep breathing, I must keep believing, in myself, in love, in true care. In the power of true friendship, in the love of the earth, in the love of the earth for us all. I don’t actually want to disappear from it all, for I know that even if it may nearly rip me apart, I can hold it. I come closer to my grief than I have ever been before. Inviting it in for tea, day after day, old familiar friend, it’s great to see you again. It’s wonderful to know that you have more to teach me, it’s an honor to learn from you. It’s a true blessing to be be close to you, for with you in my heart, I know love again. I know deep and full and expansive and all encompassing love again, I remember my truth again, I remember what I am here to learn, play, rejoice within again, I learn the light again. After lifetimes and eons and so so so many days weeks years of immense darkness, I now have hope again, I now believe in care again. I now finally see the light again. And it’s damn beautiful.