Flotsam

Passion. It’s all within the fruit, and it’s all ok. How you have held onto the energy and the weight for so long, how you have carried the burdens of all the worlds, all the creatures and all of their stories, how you have allowed it to be what has written your script rather than your own hearts call. Other than the wind upon you back and your heart held up and space, I see and I feel and I know how you have carried it all for so long, shouldered the burdens and run run run away from what you truly feel.

An angel locked in space, locked in place, the Kali ma at my face.

Courage permits you to explore the unknown and this is the space that personal growth exists within and the heart feels heavy heavy heavy for it has held on for so long, so heavy, heavy and dense within the fruits chords and a distant beach fire that swoons of sorrow.

Are good things gone? Or is the weight of my worries just too much to take on?

Love is gonna save us, this world that has gone mad. This is what I know to my core, and so I let it all go. I say the words as fingers held in deep and then relax and slid away and I feel you closer when the reaching hands let go. I feel closer to me and I feel closer to truth and I feel like I am able to really crawl up up up and out of the blue, the blue black fumes of the industrial complex. It’s really simple really.

The past is on hold, I know hat I am open and I am free. I always let hope in, wherever I be. Blind eyed, I still find my key. I guess I just felt like giving it up tofay. And the twister pulls me all around, all around, all around, the winds blow and the howls call and it feels as though the one with the strings is the one in control and so I cursed you to hell for the feelings that my heart felt yet it’s mine and mine only to heal. So we roam around and we bang our heads in crowded pits in hopes of finding healing, in hopes of finding solace and understanding. We become the best healers through our own healing.

Please forgive me for what it is that I have not remembered that I have done. If I was the one who broke the silence, who cursed us all, unconscious, and unsure, please forgive me “i scream from the pits of the depths”

Watch me, watch me, watch me, watch me. Who is that I call out to now, who am I transmuting, who am I healing if not myself and the other that knows the parallel structure if this pain. The one who knows this far off part of my brain. We came back together because it was safer to be in communion with our hearts broken, beating in tangent. To know and to feel the depths of what all is, the heaviness of it. I understand, and I know. Underneath the moonlight, I see you and I know. And now I see you in a new light. Who you truly are. Feel the pain until it breaks you in two and form the destruction you will be created. You will be born as you surrender and as you let go.

It doesn’t matter what your friends think, come meet me underneath the moonlight. I see you to the core. I feel you and I know you pure and real and true and I see those who dance atop and those who sink down, down below and those who truly know. I respect you fully and I know you true. How I wished and felt for the words of another through their songs, so that I could find some safety within the darkness, I put the voice of another on, or maybe it simply came through when I wasn’t quite looking at the one who maybe just maybe sees me fully. Yet why won’t you let me in?

Great big bang and dinosaurs. It all ends, and we will begin again. You live forever in me, I guarantee. The moons got a grip on the sea. The deeper that I go down, the deeper I explore, the more that I feel, it’s your destiny, you will see, I guarantee.

You’re gonna live forever in me, forever, it’s just meant to be. Wherever I am, disembodied or whole, I will love you until all the stars burn out and it came from the shadows last time yet this time it comes from the light.

I guarantee, just wait and see.

The hustle tune allows and encourages me to go down and down and down and to surrender and how deeply it is that I tired to control and to poke and pry and to make something happen. When I was with you all I felt was the depths and I had no knowing of how it came about or where it would end and so the songs sing of you standing by my side and I wonder if that was truth or if that was just the waves the voices made.

Say it with your words. I ran away from the warnings, the encouragements to slow down, to really listen, to just be, but I couldn’t stop and I didn’t want to. From the valley to the moon, in every country. I will be there. Standing beside you.

I ran because what else was there to do, what more there is for me to see, more for me to change, all that there is is the trust and the black hole that I have created in the center of the room. The complete abuse. The great attractor of pain and creator of light. The pendulum swings both ways and so I hold the balance in this space in between and deem both worthy as we explore and we excavate and we see.

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Switch up your lunch routine. I became the one eating and knowing that through the consuming the light of new birth is formed out of my being.

A crow flies through the window of the kitchen. You need not make the signs, you can simply understand and trust that they come through, we have the same power.

The power of love.

No resolution and all is okay. I’m told I die a slow death and that too is okay. It’s sorta just perfect and in this I feel peace, I feel peace and I feel held and I’m grateful for the dreams. So I pray for another, or I just let all go. Singing singing singing, or sinking back back back into the abyss. No where to go, no body to call my own. Back and back and back and back for I know that through the surrender and the embrace I always find my way forward. Like walking on water. Like seeing your greatest potential and the way you light up and see and know. Will you ever meet me where I am at? No worries if not, I continue to fly forward, and this is the move on the chess board that I pretended not to be playing, yet the contract had been signed and so I disappeared out and back into the space of the stars as the world burned and creatures cried and I feel the pain that they expierce and so too I feel the joy, yet for now what I feel is the sore of the ache of a moving on, the ship moving forth, flotsam.

Distoyed at the bottom of the sea, all of you is worthy, all of you is safe and I move forwards heart in hands and pain on the stands and all. We go forth.

The devil did come and I danced with her, and said I loved you and kept myself pure and right and aligned and I know that I am true and I am love and I am power. Let gravity win. Allow yourself to fall back down.

It’s called freefall.