Things are once again clear
Vomit comes out of me. It puddles, and I will not give up. It pours out. I wish to surrender. Though I cover myself in white light. It is the brightest and closest to the divine. I yearn for rest. I have done much in these past months, even if it goes unacknowledged. That’s okay, the recognition means nothing for the truth is what truly sets us free. I went to the worlds of pain yet I still held on. I held on and now it’s my time to truly learn to live. To live to thrive, to be as the fullest and most expansive and brightest version of myself.
When the body endures seemingly endless amounts of pain, the soul must also rest. It must breathe, it must take a break. It must listen to the inner calls. For rest, for rest, for rest. Take a break, take a rest.
My heart breaks, for the only story I have to tell is the one that has come to me in my dreams. The time in which I can really let go.
Everyone around seems chronically fatigued, and I am just trying to figure it all out. I ask for guidance, I pray for help, yet what I wonder is are the ones we seek to protect ourselves from the ones we used to call upon? The gods of the old world, a sovereign woman, a goddess, dammed to hell, transformed into a demon. Is she an example for what so many of us fear? The full embodiment of the self to then be cast down at the hands and minds of men. To be ripped apart for her body, her sensuality, sexuality, her pleasure, her power. Of destruction and creation. Of war and of love.
Is what we fear the fact that so many have been manipulated into believing a narrative that points us against our own power? The ability to walk through any world, to not be afraid of anything. To be embodied and empowered and awakened to what it is that we wield inside of our cells and our veins.
So many have made us believe that we must fear that darkness, to only exist within the light, to run far, far away, to try and escape it. But maybe that is not the way, maybe the way is to hold strong in our love, our life, our truth, our hearts, no matter the circumstance or experience. Maybe it’s not to try and get away, but instead to awaken within.
Death is no longer feared, sensuality is cherished. Joy is second nature, our infinite selves are known, lived in, and celebrated. Fully activated. No matter our age or years of practice, the awakening is eternal for we have lived long beyond just this time.
Do we keep fighting? What is it against which you rebel? The voice you carry that breaks the walls of Babylon. You know that you are a being of pure unconditional love, of truth, of light. Yet what is it against which you fight?
The idea that you have not lived enough to know, it’s demeaning, its damming. It shrinks your spirit into a tiny box. Yes, there is immense wisdom in consecutive years of memory lived in this one very life. Yes, there are many lessons learned and then lived through the elders that surround us. Yes, they have had to endure and rise again countless times to know what they know and to live the teachings that they do. But, so do you. Just because what you have experienced has been only in the span of a certain number of years, in this lifetime, does not make your wisdom, knowledge, and experience any less. It is the power that lets you look into the eyes of everyone around you and to say, “I see you, and I know” it’s pure understanding. It is wisdom beyond age. It is the infinite and it is the boundless. It is the force of pure cosmic creation and you live within the wellspring.
The age you are is a number used to define something within this patriarchal world. The ancient ways know the children as the greatest teachers. The uninhibited, unrestrained, unblocked from the truth of spirit. Your truth is never to be dulled or denied by the amount of years you have or have not lived. Your beauty is never to be decided within the same boundaries as well. You are infinite and you are love. You are brilliance and you are magnitudes beyond what we may ever know. You are dark sky and brilliant stars. You are holy and you are human. You are infinite and finite. You are the truth we all need and you are the space we need to breathe. You are everything we have been searching for, the answers to all the questions, you are the prayers made manifest, you are the god in form. You are flawed and you are breakable yet your spirit never can be. You are everything and nothing and still you always choose love. You choose the very truth of you every time, you choose to not be defied, thrown off course, put into a box. You are whole. You are complete. You are everything. You are love.
