Soft hearted

I refuse to turn hard, cold, calloused with no remorse. I refuse to keep myself small, shut down, hidden. I refuse to turn myself against my own heart, my own prayer, the prayer that sings itself through my wails and my whistles. The sound of my breath across my heaving lungs. I refuse to submit to a culture that wishes to keep me down, away from, trapped behind a wall that cuts me too. A wall that blocks my heart and draws the curtains on the world. I refuse to abandon my softness, my tenderness, my open arms and commitment, my consistency in choosing to love. I refuse to back down from this revolution, this remembering, this opening, this falling falling falling falling back into what it is that I have always known, what it is that I do know. This closeness and this comfort, this commonality with all that’s arrived for me, within me, this grief as a gate. I refuse to run, I refuse to hide, I refuse to back down and stay there. So, instead, I choose.

I choose to listen, I choose to breathe, I choose to understand your sovereignty and my own. I choose to respect and I choose to rise. Rise with, through feeling, through an embodied listening heart, the one that listens to you and the one that listens to me. The one that listens to the trees, the animals, the rocks, the wood that has been used to build my home. I listen. I listen I choose to listen. I listen to the wails and the cries and the womb, I listen to the power that pushes me forward, that pushes through time that ushers my own life through me. Like the swell of waves, it goes out and it moves back in. Like birth, a labor of myself. A body willing, a soul ready, move it all through me. Move it through me. And let me rise.

I listen to Spirit and I hear her through you.

A voice that is free, unrestrained, untainted by the voices of the mind, corruption of our planet, of the ones outside who wish to tear us apart and down and away. I refuse to listen to the voices of hate, though I hear them, the heart filters it all through, filters the noise, filters the ideas, filters the gunk and the grime and the hate. The heart filters and clears the waters, so what is spoken, what is shared through the vehicle, the vessel, the instrument of my, our, collective, individual soul is only that of love, of care, of sharing the powers and the wonder of what is within, within within. We breathe it in and we filter it out. We hear, we listen, we know and all that remains is what cares for us, what nurtures us, what tends to us, what keeps the fire burning. What keeps the flame that sustains hot and alive. The flame that pushes the tears from my body and breathes my soul awake. The flame that is the spirit that we all share, that we all know, that we all are. It’s revolution from within, it’s revolution through going against the grain of everything that has been conditioned into us to go against the wisdom of our bodies, of our magic, of the clarity and innocence of our childlike hearts and spirits. The child within that has never died, only been pushed to the side, or locked away, hidden, afraid. This revolution invites them out, to be held, to be seen. To dance the dance of joy, of laughter, of play. Knowing our light, knowing the dark, and shining anyway. Always shining anyway.

I refuse to back down, I refuse to stay small. It’s time to feel and it’s time to fall, back in love, back in love, back in love with my life again, with love again, with the world again, with wonder again. It’s time to feel again, it’s time to cry again, it’s time to play again. It’s time to see again. Refuse the forgetting, embrace the remembering. The dissolution of all walls that keep our hearts from shining. That keep our hearts contained. It’s time to share your magic, it’s time to rise again. It’s time to rise again, it’s time to rise again. For within you, you know. And it’s your time to let go.